This just in: Cell phones cause cancer. The following is an excerpt from this article on CNN.com:

Radiation from cell phones can possibly cause cancer, according to the World Health Organization. The agency now lists mobile phone use in the same “carcinogenic hazard” category as lead, engine exhaust and chloroform.

Let’s be honest, this news shouldn’t be entirely surprising. If you’ve ever heard the bizarre litany of squawks, chirps and buzzing that your smartphone elicits from any speakers within a 5-10ft radius then you’ve probably wondered if your brains were being cooked as well. You may have also noticed the SAR information tucked away in the back of the instruction manual that came with your phone. If SAR seems confusing, its akin to the intensity level setting on your microwave…except you can’t change it, it’s set by the cell phone manufacturer.

The good news is that the further the phone is held away from the body the less radiation is absorbed. Hmmm…can you hear me now? So if you can’t ditch your cell phone don’t panic, the experts suggest getting an ear piece, or using speaker phone to increase the distance between you and your cellular mutating device.